Bearly Plausible - Kids Films With Adult Things

Hey, this is such a great kids movie! I mean look at all the cute things happening on the screen! This is what it's all about kids. Wholesome family... films that... Uh... Hey this is getting pretty... Oh my... Ah! Ahhhh! Ahhhhhhh! That's exactly the emotions that everyone went through when watching children's films from the 70's and 80's. And that's how it should be. Today's kids films are to safe and sound. Our films put some fear into you. For instance in The Never Ending Story whenever Gmork (the werewolf thing) was on screen you became afraid. Nowadays kids film villains have a nasty habit of being completely inept. I'm looking at you Spy Kids films. So I present to you for your child's viewing pleasure and perhaps to ensure they become a productive adult in the future here are the three most insane children's movies ever.

3. WILLY WONKA & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY

Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory was a great 1971 film that had everything! An awesome factory with edible wallpaper and giant gummi bears that grew on trees. It even has a cameo from our very own San Antonio Riverwalk in the chocolate river. But it also had the what I can only assume was the utter demise of four kids that had major flaws and then the boat ride from Hell!

2. THE ADVENTURES OF MARK TWAIN

This little known claymation film  from 1985 was a pretty normal affair. Well if you consider two farm kids traveling to various world's with Mark Twain so that he can make an appointment he has with Halley's Comet normal. But the creepiest segment has to be The Mysterious Stranger where Mark Twain and the kids meet up with the angel Satan. 

1. RETURN TO OZ

What can I say about the 1985 (must have been a benchmark year) Return to Oz with a young Fairuza Balk as the lead. This movie was just full of weird things though. The insane asylum, The Wheelers, and a creepy pumpkin headed sidekick are just a few of the oddities in this film. And for some reason Toto is replaced with a chicken...You know pretty much the whole of this movie could be placed here but the freakiest thing was the witch Mombi who collects heads of beautiful women has to be the creepiest thing.