The Bear Essentials - Rubber

Food Equivalent: Jell-O... It shouldn't taste good. But it does.

The Best Part: The pointless nature of the whole thing.

The Worst Part: The Ending

Genre: Comedy

Rating: R

Running Time: 82 minutes

Bonus Points: Telepathic Explosions... And a rabbit explosion.

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I'm just going to let you check out the introduction to this film, because it says virtually everything you will need to know. Just through this three minute long intro alone you will know whether or not you are going to love or hate this film. And more then likely you are just going to end up leaning, in the extreme, one direction or the other.

So there you go. The whole reason for the events of this movie taking place are explained right there. The basic synopsis of the film is that an old car tire has become a living, breathing, self aware being. So what is a newly born formally inanimate object supposed to do with their gift of life? Well blow things up of course! Yeah, the tire has telepathic abilities that allow it to focus it's energy into blowing the heads of it's victims up. But along the way of blowing things up the tire (named Robert by the way) finds a girl. After Robert fails to blow her head up with his powers the tire follows her. This is either presumably to try and blow her head up or to be her lover. You never really find out which.
Happening simultaneously as the tire is killing there is a crowd of onlookers watching the events unfold as if it were a movie. The Sheriff who is the protagonist in the film, mainly because there is no one else to fill the role, keeps the movie (for the onlookers) moving along.

The greatest thing about this film is it's quirky, fun, and lighthearted take on itself and movies in general. The only gripe I can actually find with the film is the pretty slow introduction to the tire, Robert, we get and the very last part of the ending. Everything up to the end is pure gold. At the very end though after the fate of the Sheriff, Robert, the woman, and the audience watching the film within the film are played out there is the type of ending I never like. The ending that doesn't really mean anything. I would have been fine with the "no reason" ending since they make it clear throughout the film that this is what it's all about. But they do one of those open ended endings.

All in all the film is great and worth the watch. Even though the ending was kind of bad the rest of the film more than makes up for it. It's definitely worth a purchase and is a great addition to any film collection out there. They had some great effects going to get that tire roaming and the effects for the head explosions are awesomely cheesy. The script is very smart and well crafted and the Sheriff is comedy gold! As a side note for a little bit I thought that the Sherrif was played by Eric Roberts (brother of Julia Roberts and star of Best of the Best) but it's not folks. So we're in the clear folks.

THE FILM BEAR SAYS

The Bear Essentials - Puppet Monster Massacre

Food Equivalent: Cheese 

The Best Part: It's got puppets!

The Worst Part: Way too short

Genre: Black Comedy/Horror/Thriller

Rating: N/A (Adult Only)

Running Time: 70 min   

Bonus Points: Godzilla attack, mad scientist

The Puppet Monster Massacre is a homage to the great shlock horror films of the 80's and early 90's. It's a combination of humor and bad horror. The plot takes several queues from different films which causes it to become (oddly enough) an original film. The general synopsis is a group of strangers are invited to stay at a purportedly haunted mansion and if they can last the night they will win one million dollars. The Puppet Monster Massacre then takes a couple of genre twists and turns until it finally ends up becoming a giant monster crushing the city movie.

In the 80's Peter Jackson put out a film called Meet The Feebles. The Puppet Monster Massacre is the twenty-first centurys Meet The Feebles which means that it is definitely not for children. Don't let the fact that there are puppets in it fool you, this is an adult only feature. There are scenes depicting a lot of gore, scenes of sexuality and nudity, plus there is fluffy rabbit mutilation. On the plus side there is plenty of fun to be had here. Check out the official trailer if you are still not convinced.

The film can be purchased here and as a bonus it is a signed copy of the film. The DVD itself may be bare bones only having two commentary tracks, and not that great ones at that, but the quality of the film makes up for the lack of extras and this is a must see. If you enjoy comedies in the vain of Team America or horror movies with that 80's flare and panache then you owe it to yourself to check this film out. The Puppet Monster Massacre will only disappoint you by ending far too early.

THE FILM BEAR SAYS