Food Equivalent: Any "food" item from Fear Factor
The Best Part: When the credits rolled & I got my life back.
The Worst Part:It actually cost $6 million to make!
Genre: Drama / Black Comedy (?)
Rating: R
Running Time: 99 min
Bonus Points: A doorway to insanity.
It has been a long known fact that the two worst movies ever created are Manos The Hands of Fate and Troll 2. Both horrendous movies that were ostracized at the time of their release but over time have now become highly regarded masterpieces of filming so bad that its actually come full circle and ended up being good. It's a rare feat that a film achieves greatness through complete garbage. But those films also have something special about them. An aura surrounds them and you can't help but like them. The Room has now shown up to dethrone the worst movie ever royalty of Manos and Troll 2 but unfortunately it doesn't share any of the charm of charisma of either of those films.
The Room is (I think) about a banker whose life starts to fall apart at the seams? Yeah I purposely ended that sentence with a question mark. His fiancee and best friend start cheating on him for the first time like three different times. He has a creepy future serial killer college kid that comes to his house all the time. There are also a handful of other characters that have plot points brought up only to be dropped literally a scene later. One guy even shows up mid movie after no introduction or mention and we are just supposed to know who he is. If my synopsis for this movie doesn't make any sense to you well now you know how I felt through this whole movie. This movie is like people who gawk at automobile accidents or actually like watching NASCAR. I can't explain anymore, it's giving me a migraine. Here look at this scene and you'll understand just how bad everything is.
Please don't be mad at me about wasting those two minutes of your life. But that is just one scene. I went through 99 minutes of scenes exactly like that. My explanation for why this movie is so out of sync with what we call reality is because Tommy Wiseau (writer, director, producer, distributor, and star of the movie) dropped the script and all the pages became mixed up. And since Tommy didn't bother to number the pages he just shuffled them back together and said, "It's fine." Here check out this scene for a good laugh.
Watching The Room is more akin to being in a trap from Saw than it is an actual film. I'm not sure why it's even called The Room because there is nothing roomish about it. It takes place mostly in a townhouse and it's roof but that is a lot bigger than a room. The House should have been the title... I can actually feel myself losing strength by continuing to talk about this movie. Let's just see the bear's score on this horrible curse placed upon man.
THE FILM BEAR SAYS...
Uh oh.
Well this isn't good.
WE'LL BE BACK NEXT WEEK? MAYBE?
